The Building Pressure of Our Kids' Birthday Parties
The Building Pressure of Our Kids’ Birthday Parties
As a busy, stay-at-home mom, I feel the added layer of pressure to match the extravagant standards set by social media and commercial expectations when it comes to our kids' birthday parties. From custom-themed cakes to elaborate party setups, the competition for the “perfect party” can feel overwhelming. But this can also create an unintended consequence for our babies: when they receive less than what their friends have, they may begin to feel that they are somehow “less than” or undeserving of a grand celebration.
Take, for example, the case where one child receives an iPad as a gift from Santa, while another might receive a pair of socks from Santa. In the world of social media, where gift-giving and party hosting are often shared online, it’s easy for children to assume that the size of their party or the value of their gifts from Santa is tied to their worth or how much they are loved. This creates unnecessary emotional pressure, not just for us parents, but for our kids who may feel that their celebration is somehow "smaller" or less significant.
The reality is, children may not need extravagant gifts or a larger-than-life party to feel special. A study by The National Retail Federation (NRF) found that the average parent spends about $500 or more on their child’s birthday. I myself try to keep a budget of around $350 for my kids' birthday parties. While I can appreciate a beautiful, extravagant party once in a while - be it a milestone or a once-in-a-lifetime event, I believe most cherished memories aren’t necessarily tied to cost or grandeur. What our children remember is the joy of being surrounded by loved ones, the fun games, the laughter, and the feeling of being celebrated.
If kids start associating celebrations with grandeur, it can lead to unrealistic expectations for future milestones. Rather than teach them that love and celebration come with a price tag, we can teach them that what matters most is the thought, effort, and love behind every moment.
We can still throw beautiful parties with fun themes that match our baby's newest obsession. But let's start focusing on the meaningful moments—whether it’s making personalized crafts, enjoying favorite homemade foods, or spending time doing something they love—we can show children that celebrations are about connection, not consumption.